Some thought (it's litteraly 1AM)

I never really actually talk about these types of things in posts. For some reason, it always feels weird to talk about anything personal in public.

But since this random thought came over my mind, I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk about it here.

After all, In a sense of way, blogspot is much more private since not much people would come across this. 

Basically Mark is the only one that'll be reading this (WUSSUP POGGER), but if someone else for some reason does find this too in some way, I hope you appreciate or understand the things I'll be saying here! (same to you Mark, stay #awesome)

Anyway, enough with the shenanigans!!

I've got a very high standard when coming to friendship. Okay that sentence definitely sounds wrong, let me explain. I'm generally choosy when coming to making friends with someone. Well no, it's not about outer-appearance I judge or how popular they are, honestly that's something I don't care about. I judge people based by their personality, and it's often the unique lovable people I end up with, even if I don't have things in common with some of them, I still get along because for some reason I know they're the exact right people I've been looking for. And the typical people I want so far are rare to come across.

But what type of people do I even want? No, it's not about "I like you because you have this certain personality trait whom which I set my standard that all my friends should have in order to be my friend" nope, that's straight up not what true friendship is.

The type of people I want could literally be any personality at all, aslong as I know I don't have to hide my real self in order to get along with them.

I want my friends to be who they truly are, someone who I know I could truly trust and rely on, someone who I know I could make memorable memories with, who I know even if they may never be in my life anymore, they're still in my heart and I'll be smiling they were in some point of my life. And if I know I've found the right person, then I'll do my best to be the right person for them. Afterall, it's a weird attitude of mine but I don't want to settle for less, I settle for the right people and in the end with all these years of me people-pleasing, I finally decided to accept and love myself for who I am, even if there's still a bit of self-hatred left sometimes or comparing myself to others, I understand that some habits that are left in me from all the unhealthy things I used to do will take some time and patience, and that's completely okay, even if I tend to forget that sometimes aswell. 

To be honest, the thought of being with people who I know I don't get along with but force myself to be with them really is uncomfortable in some way but it's hard to explain. I'd rather be with people I know I love being with, it really feels like at home that way, and losing myself is scary these days.

So trust me whenever I say this, If you're a part of my social circle then know how much I value you for who you are, I really REALLY love you, and by you just being my friend feels like a gift because I know I get along with you, I DONT care if we don't have that much things in common, I love you for who you are and I want you to NOT change yourself just because you don't fit in with other people or because you force yourself to be different from others.

You're EXACTLY beautiful because you're you, and I admire you for who you are, and there's nothing in this dang world that'll ever change that. And If you for some reason manages to stay I'll be your friend until your grave WHAHAHHAHAHA!!! And we will be ghost friends 😈👌

I'm very grateful and lucky with the friends I have and decided to keep. I wouldn't care how big or how small my social group is.

To all my friends (including you Mark, get yo paulmmcartney ass over here and give me a hug), I owe you all a ton for existing. 

Thank you.

I'M GETTING TOO EMOTIONAL-

IT'S 1:33AM AND I SHOULD BE SLEEPING